Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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