Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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