I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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