Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
