it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
