1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
