How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
