I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
