Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
