I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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