Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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