I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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