whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
