i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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