evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
