You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
