If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
