...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think my fart just growled at me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
