Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
