"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
