Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Randomize
