I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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