i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
