can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
