I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
