Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
