My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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