Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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