I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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