Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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