Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's always time for handjobs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
