Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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