she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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