His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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