I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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