She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
