Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
