We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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