It's Friday. Sex?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
