Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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