I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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