So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
