If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
