i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
