is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
