Non-Jews are for practice
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
