I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
