I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
