I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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