Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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