I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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